we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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