the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
