When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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