Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
