my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
