I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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