So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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