I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
