It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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