I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
