This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
