Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
