i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
