Duck Duck Cougar?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize