I wannas sexs uuuuu
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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