I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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