i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
