I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
