I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have tasted many bathrooms
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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