As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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