My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would ride that face into the sunset
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
