I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
