She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
