She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The police scanner is talking about you again....
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize