god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
