He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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