Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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