Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
