i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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