Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
