I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
