Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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