i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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