For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
