Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
