Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
