I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
