Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
