i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
