Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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