Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
