Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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