I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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