the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
