i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we're making bets on your personal life
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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