if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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