Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
