I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
