I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
