quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
