what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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