am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize