if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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