no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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