Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize