yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
